Friday, November 19, 2010

And Guess What?

I remember hearing stories about people playing the drinking game "Hi Bob!" when the Bob Newhart Show was on TV. If you haven't heard of it, the rules (or rule) is simple. Every time someone on the show entered the room and said "Hi Bob", you had to take a drink of your adult beverage. It must have happened a lot because people said they were blotto after one 30 minute episode. The only reason I mention it is because I had the thought this morning, that college kids may want to try an updated version of the game. This time, it would be to a recording of my 6 year old, Ian. He is quite a storyteller but has a habit of slowing his stories down to a creeping pace with the phrase "And guess what?" There is a pretty good chance that one round of "And guess what?" would have players in AA or the hospital, so play at your own risk.

Here's an example of an Ian tale:
Daddy, a lady came to our class today to tell us about doctors. She brought big bandaids. And guess what? She took them out of her doctor bag. And guess what? She showed us one. And guess what? She asked for a helper and Summer got picked to be her sistant. And guess what? The lady, who is a doctor, asked for another helper. And guess what? I raised my hand. And guess what? Other kids raised their hands too. And guess what? I got picked to get a blue bandaid on my foot. And guess what? I had to take off one of my shoes. And guess what? I picked my right foot because it was hurting more than my left foot. And guess that? I took off my sock. And guess what? I put my little foot next to the lady and Summer. And guess what? They had to take the sticky paper off the back of the bandaid. And guess what? The lady let Summer put the bandaid on my foot. And guess what? I wasn't even scared. And guess what? I went back to my seat and put my shoe back on. And guess what? I took my shoe back off because I forgot to put on my sock. And guess what? I put my sock back on and then my shoe. And guess what? My teacher said I was a good helper. And guess what? Later, because I was such a good helper and sat quietly in my seat like a good boy, I got to pick something from the treasure box.

And guess what? By then, I had tuned out from my little man's story. I think he continued for another 15 minutes. Fortunately, he never waits for a response to his "And guess whats", so he never realized that I had zoned out. Sure, I feel like a bad daddy for not hearing his exciting bandaid adventure in it's entirety, but he lost me after the 23rd "And guess what?" Ian's stories remind me of going to see the Dave Matthews Band, where they drove me insane by taking the 4 minute radio song and turning it into a 20 minute jam session. At least during the concert, I could run off the concession stand or hit the bathroom.

At some point, the "And guess whats" will go away and I'll probably miss them dearly. Until then, I'll have to suck it up and brave "Ian's Epic Extend-O-Matic Storytime Jam / Potential Drink Game" narratives.

Until next time, buh bye.

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