Tuesday, October 23, 2012


Kids say what's on their minds and some of it is simply hilarious.    Riley has always made me laugh, Ian and Desi say really silly stuff, and Parker is a one stop shop of comedy.    There is nothing better than laughter and there is plenty of that in the Schmidt house.

Let's start with Desi.   Her funny may sound kinda gross but Desi had the line of the day, so I must share.   We were driving to church and there was a foul smell in the car.   I blamed Ian, who immediately denied the stinky in question.    Parker could have been the culprit but it was much more fun to throw the blame at Desi.   Desi wasted no time and stated that she was not responsible for the stench and even had an explanation:  "Daddy, it was not me.  I know because there was not a noise in my pants."   The defense rests.

Riley has a great sense of humor and we goof a lot.    One of my favorite moments recently was the story she told about her first day of 8th grade.   Her school messed up her schedule and somehow, she ended up in the level 8 (high level) dance program instead of her creative writing program.   The school had swapped her with another girl who had a similar last name.   The story made me laugh but her closing line really made me giggle:  "Dad, I guess it's better that I was switched instead of you...you would have just done the sandwich dance, the sprinkler, and that wave thing you do with your hands.    And, I could probably pull off the dance outfit better than you."    She ain't lying.

Ian is a story teller although, if you don't help him move things along, it could take hours to get through his tales because he likes to be detailed.  Very detailed.   He also loves to make himself sound awesome in every story.   A few weeks ago, he told me that his class was learning to square dance and that all of the girls  wanted to dance with him.   I asked why and and after describing every minute element of his square dancing experience (if you are scoring at home, that took about 15 minutes and included several mentions about how good he was listening, that he had great eyelashes, and he was an excellent dancer), he said "Dad, the girls like me because I  washed my hands after I went to the bathroom and some of the other boys didn't.  And, I can breakdance."   Hygiene and the ability to do the worm = likability in the 2nd grade square dance world.  Well played, Ian Bob.

Parker is an entertainer and it's impossible not to like the little dude.    We have been playing ball a lot and I think he is half baby, half retriever.   He and Blue have something in common...they will both play the same game for hours if you let them.   Lately, when we are in the office, he will bring me the ball then run to the other side of the room.   He won't move until I say "ready?" and he parrots back "readyyyy!".   I am expected to throw the ball to him and he will scoop it up and deliver it back to me.   Repeat 300 times.   The other day, I forgot to say "ready?" and threw the ball.   He looked a me with disappointment and told me "Daddy no readyyyyy" and stared at the ball.    Clearly, we had a system and I did not execute my portion of the job correctly, so I had to get the ball, hand it to him, return to my spot and wait for him to bring it to me.  At that point, we resumed the process and he was pleased that Daddy was back to following the rules for the next 413 throws.

Until next time, buh-bye!

1 comment:

  1. They get it from their father, man.

    Their collective senses of humor should come as no surprise.

    Now, can they air drum?