Monday, November 16, 2009

Teaching the old Dad new tricks

Some random things that I've learned in the past few weeks. Thought I would share...

Everything tastes better dipped in juice.

Perhaps it does. I personally have never taste-tested a ham sandwich, cookie, cheese cracker, ruffle, or bagel dipped in a cup of apple juice. Maybe I'm missing a delicacy, but I'm not sure I trust the tastebuds of a 6 year old. Kids eat paste and like it. Paste dipped in apple juice....hmmm.

Underwear are more comfortable backwards.

Either the 5 year old is on to something or he was trying to cover a dressing error. Millions have been spent on on researching underwear comfort, you'd think Hanes would have figured this out. The kid could be right, though. Note to Fruit of the Loom, focus group the backwards boys underwear thing. If it's a winner, please send a check to my son for his innovative thinking. I'll be standing by the mailbox, holding my breath.

It's not whether you win or lose, it's all about the snack.

I'm a co-head coach of Ian's soccer team. He's in the 3 to 5-year-old league. He's scored 10 goals in 5 games and loves it. He's never played before but the kid gets it. Some of his teammates...not so much. One little guy doesn't like playing but loves drinking water out of the big Gatorage container and consumes 8-10 gallons each game (I think). Another little guy spent a half standing in one place staring longingly at the playground set. If you've never seen 3 & 4 year olds play, it's like a bee swarm...12 players crowded around the ball for two 10 minute halves. In most cases, the swarm follows the ball, whether it's on our field, another field, the parking lot, whatever. Ian and one other player generally kick the ball out of the swarm, dribble it down the field, and shoot it past the goalie, who may or may not be playing with dirt, throwing dirt, or eating dirt.

BUT, the real excitement happens after the game...snack time! I laughed at the first coaches meeting, when the head of the league said that the kids won't care if they win or learn anything...they only care about the after game snack. He spent 22 seconds on coaching tips and 15 minutes on ideas for the post-game feast. I questioned it at the time but I've learned now. Even after Ian scored 4 goals in one game, he spent more time on the drive home talking about the Fruit Gusher he got after the game. Our post-game smack talk with the other team is never "we kicked your butt today!"'s "oh yeah, we have Twinkies!". Gotta love that competitive spirit.

Little boys know how to pick up chicks.

My little man already has an eye for the ladies and the ladies love him. He's cute and has awesome eyelashes. Chicks dig him. He's already had 3 marriage proposals at VPK. But, those toddler girls have zero shot, because he likes the older know, like 11-12ish-years-old. Little Romeo isn't strong with the pick-up lines but he's got something that works better: sobbing. We went trick-or-treating with our friends & their kids (the oldest is tall, blonde, 11, very pretty). Capt. Smooth, dressed handsomely as Buzz Lightyear, faked a fall and the crying commenced. Tears ran down his tiny cheeks and he asked meekly "Can she hold my hand so I don't fall again?" One minute, he's acting like we'll need to amputate the leg...the next minute, he's skipping and holding hands with the older hottie. The kid has game.

Until next time, buh bye.

1 comment:

  1. Totally agree!! My son dipped his crackers in Sprite, which I was disgusted. And the underwear thing, why is there is hole in front when I have never seen any man/boy to use it!