Tuesday, November 10, 2009

More 1. Less 0. Excess wins!

You can never have too much of a good thing.

Example - My daughter has now watched Snowdogs 14,731 times (she's 6...do the math...I may be off by a tad) and counting. We could easily squeeze in another dozen viewings before Saturday. Des has seen the movie more than Cuba Gooding Jr.'s mother. I only mention Cuba Gooding Jr. so that I can tie Jerry McGuire and Snowdogs together for this: I'm teaching Des to yell "SHOW ME THE...MO (wait for it) VIE!!!" That's only funny to me. My wife didn't laugh either.

Back to the original thought. You can't have too much of a good thing.

Example 2 - I have 3 words for you: Pump It Up. If you don't know what Pump It Up is, I suggest you immediately do a search in your area & buy an available franchise asap. Pump It Up has lots of big, inflatable jumpy things and slides. Kids just don't love the place....they LOVEEEEEEEE the place.

At this moment, my fridge is home to 4 invitations to birthday parties. Guess where the parties are? No, Waffle House is incorrect. Those 3 magical words: Pump It Up. Yep, all 4 parties. Guess where we did Ian's birthday party? No, World of Beer is incorrect. If you were playing along at home and said "pump it up", bingo! The economy may be sucking wind but I'm certain the CEO of Pump It Up will be getting a bonus the size of Texas, this year. Good for you, Mr. Pump It Up! Perhaps that didn't sound right. Take two. Kudos on a great year, sir!

Pump It Up provides a quick, easy, somewhat economical birthday party experience. Where else can you get 90 minutes of a good time for 200 bucks? Perhaps that didn't sound right. Take two, again. Uhhh, it's a good deal.

All this birthday talk reminds me of the "Awesomest Birthday Event Ever!", which surprisingly did not take place at Pump It Up. When Riley was little, she and I attended the Event. It was not a party, it was an Event. Her little friend from class was turning 4. About one month prior to the little dude's birthday, I believe one of his parents said to the other, "Let's re-mortgage our house and throw Bobby the Awesomest Birthday Event Ever!". These folks were not Richie Riches, so keep that in mind.

If you want to recreate the "Awesomest Birthday Event Ever" for your child, here are the ingredients you'll need:

1. Rent clubhhouse, basketball court, and two tennis courts in your housing community. You'll need space for items 2-10.

2. Hire a 12 piece reggae band. Kids love reggae and musky band members.

3. Get 3 large inflatable slides and jumpy things. Must be biggest available on the planet.

4. Invite everyone you've ever met....EVER.

5. Order 2 cakes. At least one cake should qualify for a Guinness Record.

6. Catering. Have lots of food. Something kids like, such as Chicken Marsala.

7. Hire a magician, a clown, a mascot, and a guy with a petting zoo.

8. Full Liquor Bar. Parents may want a Margarita or a Zima...at 10am.

9. Petting zoo may be subpar. Call lady with a horse for pony rides. Make that 2 horses or a llama.

10. Get seating for 600, which will only be used for 6 old people. Have 200 more chairs on standby.

11. Goodie bags. Include imported chocolate, 2 foot tall stuffed animals, and 50 bucks CASH.

Other than the cash, EVERYTHING is true about the Event. For a 4-year-old! And you know what's crazy? I overheard the parents saying they were nervous that Bobby would be bummed with the party, because it was scaled back from the previous year. I kid you NOT!

The sad thing...Bobby probably went to a party at Pump It Up recently and thought it was the awesomest party ever.

Until next time, buh bye.


  1. Rick,
    You have a GIFT. I'm a grandparent now (officially Bebe) but I can SO relate to your meanderings...hilarious! Thanks for writing!

  2. Beth, thank you so much! I hope word spreads about my meanderings...it's fun to write about all of the silly stuff that happens. r