Friday, August 20, 2010

The Name Game

"Having a baby can be a tad stressful", said Capt. Understatement.

Not only do you worry about the health of Mom and the baby, there is also endless list of things you may or may not need to buy, taking baby classes, registering for baby junk, announcements, prepping the older kids so they don't feel left out, anxiety about finances, and yadda yadda yadda. And then, there is the pressure to name the kid.

For some families, it's easy. Perhaps you're one of those people who has had a favorite name saved for a while. Perhaps you have a family name that you'd like to use. Perhaps you looked through the top 1000 names and found something that Mom and Dad agreed on immediately. That ain't happening in the Schmidt house.

My wife and I are definitely not on the same page for little Peanut's future name. We have a spreadsheet of names and not a single name matches. Like most people, you tend to like or dislike names based on people you've met in the past. I have that problem. I also can't bring myself to go with a really common name, even if you spell it in a wacky way. You're not doing your kid a favor by changing something simple like Max to Maks or Maxxx. There is also the twist that some parents do to a popular name, it's called "let's add or change the first letter", so Aiden becomes Faiden or Waiden or Zaiden. To each his own, but I'm not a fan. For someone who goes with the flow most of the time, I'm creating serious naming problems in my household...shame on me. In fairness to my wife, I've presented a bunch of names that are really cool but maybe too cool. She put it best..."We're naming a kid, not a drummer or a DJ." So I guess Axl is out. In fairness to me, she has presented a bunch of names of yacht operators or people who got their lunch money taken. Anderson may sound awesome at Harvard but unless he goes by Andy, there is some locker stuffing in his future. She also has a few that are too easy for other kids to make fun of, like Parker (aka Porker...not good if you have a husky boy) and Grayson (remove the r and we have problems). Hopefully, Parker or Grayson have a popular friend like Axl to keep the mean boys away.

Previously, I offered what I thought was a fantastic suggestion. It's a reach but Grandpa could be all the rage. Only my dad seemed to like that one. Last night, I suggested "Doctor", "Professor", and "General". Those were met with a giant THUD.

She is trying to secure naming rights by telling me that I agreed years ago to allow her to name the next kid...because I named the dog (Blue Seven Schmidt). She has no witnesses or documentation on the said agreement & I am certain that I would have never okayed that. Next she'll tell me that I agreed years ago to allow her to name the next kid...because I named our cars (Scuba Steve and Red Rover). Again, no witnesses or documentation and no memory of that.

The Name Game rolls on. The baby is due in December. If you hear us refer to him as Baby Boy Schmidt in January, you'll know that the debate is not over.

Until next time, buh bye.


  1. I'm all about cool names. I told my husband if we ever have another boy his name should be Ezra, but got that nixed right away. We already have Xander though, and you can't have Xander and Matthew, gotta stick with the atypical trend.

  2. oh sooo funny! Hopefully you'll come to some sort of agreement- or agree to disagree and whoever disagrees can pick next time? Maybe? I never thought about the repercussions of Anderson and Grayson...that's the problem with being a girl- you don't think of that stuff!