I'm a married guy, so it's not every day that I get to go on a date. I was invited to lunch by a super cute girl! How could I say no? It was my 6 year old, Desi (or as she is now known in some circles, Deszi).
Believe me, I could have never imagined the lunch experience I had.
The date day arrived and I included a super cool surprise in her lunch....I'll get to that in a minute. I rolled into school promptly at 10:45 (lunch time for 1st graders (and anyone over 70)) and went to my daughter's table. I was introduced to the 3 boys and girl at the table. We'll call them Aiden One, Two, & Three and Lulu, to protect their identities. I sat down next to Desi and the adventure began.
First thing I noticed: napkins serve no purpose. Why use a napkin when you have a perfectly good sleeve?
Aiden One was a spazzo. I'm not sure he ate anything because his lunch was a game. The grapes were attacking the sandwich. Capt. Cheesestick was coming to the aid of a poor, defenseless fruit roll up!
Aiden Two seemed like a nice kid. I wanted to talk to him but the LARGE pizza sauce stain on his shirt was distracting me. If I didn't know better, I'd swear he had been stabbed. 31 times. Saucy pizza, it was.
Lulu sat next to me. She was quiet and focused on lunch. She ate her goldfish and a gogurt, then moved on to her PB&J. I was VERY impressed by how nicely she was eating. My attention went back to Desi for a few minutes (secretly, I was thinking to myself "I wish Des would eat like that"). And the good manners at lunch award goes to Lu.....WAIT A MINUTE! Houston, we have a problem. Lulu was licking the table! It seems that a few jelly morsels had escaped and landed on the table & Lulu's cleanup plan had a napkin as her plan D. She checked her sandwich box and discovered more jelly remnants. Lulu spent the next 5 minutes licking the inside of that container.
Desi had been plugging away at her lunch, waiting for her surprise. Finally, I unveiled COTTON CANDY. Aiden Three, who was a bigger kid, went into full mooch mode. "Desiiiiiiii, please please please can I have someeeeee?" Desi decided to share a bite with each kid. Not a big bite, but hey, she was sharing! Aiden Three engulfed his piece, counted to 3 mississippi, and asked "Desiiiiiii, please please please can I have moreeeeee?" Another piece. Then another request. You'd think I brought cocaine to a supermodel party. Before I could say anything, Desi popped the remaining cotton candy wad in her mouth.
Rather than sulk, Aiden Three smartly invited me to lunch the next day. Of course, the cover charge was another batch of cotton candy.
At the end of lunch, Desi declared it to be "The Best Lunch EVER". Perhaps, she was right.
Until next time, buh bye.