Thursday, October 22, 2009

My kid has a job

6 years old and already having to work. She has a job. Her current position? Fundraising for new PE balls, ropes, and equipment for her classroom.

What is her role? To bring home a packet filled with cruddy, overpriced stuff for her family and neighbors to purchase. If anyone needs a 23 dollar soy candle, jumbo magnetic clips, or a copy of Black Enterprise magazine...give her a call. Are you aching to enjoy the Old World Taste of an authentic 12 oz. beef summer sausage? She's got you covered (if you have $12.50 and can wait a few weeks). The book has amaryllis kits, cell phone holders, milk balls, dryer balls, and more. Order now while supplies last!

What's in it for her (besides a new PE ball, rope, and equipment)? If she sells $1 worth of stuff, she gets an "amazing effort" bracelet. Sweet. If she only sold one dollar of stuff, seems like it should say "lackluster effort" instead. $100 bucks of stuff nets her a 11inch stretchy centipede. Now you're talking! And,
the prizes only get better. The TOP SELLER in each grade wins a "Big Cheese" Hamburger Hat!!!!! It's true. I don't joke about Hamburger Hats, esp. those covered with cheese.

The good news is "together everyone achieves more (TEAM)". There is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in "salad crisper", which you can buy for $7.50.

The order book coversheet had words like honesty, respect, loyalty, kindness, caring, and fairness. So I end with this......

Peanut Brittle. 7.50
A Vanilla Diffuser. 13.50
Helping my daughter learn honesty, respect, loyalty, kindness, caring and fairness by buying a copy of People en Espanol. Priceless.

Until next time, buh bye.


  1. Aren't they violating some kind of child labor law? How about donating the stuff to Goodwill, hitting up the families for a couple of bucks each, and buying the classroom equipment? Wait ... that would be too easy.

    Or the school could just lay off a few teachers to free up some bucks -- that's what they do here in Texas.

    Why don't you combine this with Halloween? Des (I mean, Desz) can put on her costume, carry two bags, one with "stuff" and one for candy, and then instead of saying, "Trick or Treat!" she can ask, "Would you be interested in a soy candle? A beef sausage perhaps? I'm trying to earn a 'Big Cheese Hamburger Hat.'" Who could resist an adorable 6 year old entrepreneur? She can sell stuff & score candy at the same time.

    Seems like the prices have gone up considerably since my kids had to sell crap. I mean stuff.

    Have fun! And better not send us a salad crisper for Christmas ... we'll know where it came from.

  2. #1 I love Summer sausage
    #2 I received the lackluster bracelet in 3rd grade for my poor efforts in long division.
    #3 The Big Cheese Hambuger Hat sounds "Fantastic"