Monday, November 2, 2009

Not on the list to Santa

Retailers love to get a jump on their Christmas sales. Some stores started their holiday section in early September. My suggestion - if you want to get a jump on the other retailers, why not do what my neighbor does: leave your Christmas stuff up all year long!

The new Toys R Us catalog arrived in the Sunday paper, filled with wonderful and not so wonderful gift ideas at super duper savings. We had the kids make check marks next to the items that they would like to have. Ian picked 10-12 items. Desi obviously thinks we're the Hilton family, because she checked 75-80 things. Riley picked a few but felt the need to label each check with a D or I for greater clarity. I appreciate her effort but I'm sure that I would have figured out that the Little Mommy All in One Nursery was for Des.

While most of the items in the catalog are good for any kid, I have to ask...why would anyone buy the WWE Punjabi Prison Match Ring (ages 4 & up)?

Does a child really need a Prison Match Ring? Might as well include the shank and pruno for a lifelike prison atmosphere. I'm also confused by the Razor MX400 Dirt Rocket motorcycle, which says it's for ages 14 and up. Oddly enough, the boy in the picture riding it couldn't be more than 5. Maybe I'm not as cool as I thought, but my kid won't be riding a MX400 dirt rocket any time soon. I can barely get him to flush the toilet...why would I trust him on a mini-bike?

Over the years, I've had a problem with a number of toys but the one that bugged me the most was the Bratz dolls. They should have been named Escortz, because they look like they should come with a pole. Who comes up with some of these toys? What's next, the Lil Wayne Speak n Spell? Or the Step 2 Party Time Crystal Meth Cook Lab (complete with a tiny Andre Agassi as your tester)?

The worst idea for a present has to be this:

Not only is the Alfred Hitchcock The Birds Barbie Doll weird...face it, it's a sucky gift. Was there really someone at Mattel who thought "We MUST beat the competition to the punch on this Alfred Hitchcock Birds thing"? 56 years later? Perhaps they'll follow it up with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre Barbie. They probably don't have time to make that one...since they are busy filling all of those orders for The Birds Barbie Doll. Sarcastic much?

Until next time, buh bye.


  1. Well, all I can tell ya is that the "Birds" Barbie won't be available much longer ... I sent the link to all my friends and they ALL want one!

  2. the birs barbie is more for colectors not kids i cant see some kid saying mommie i need that barbie that looks like those birds are eating her...

  3. Hilarious, Rick! I feel the same way on those awful Bratz Dolls... fortunately, Kenzie thinks their stupid too... otherwise she'd probably be askin for a holiday thong this year. HOOTCHIE DOLLS.

    Side note: Do not buy Riley anything from Girl Gourmet. Their products are so cute on TV and yet such awful pieces of crap.

    Tell Miss H I said, "HELLO!" and sorry she got csught in a scene from "Stand By Me."

  4. I think you would get a real kick out of this...